Losing my Body

Thanks to those who concern about me. I'm better now, i hope. Though I'm still stick with my old life pattern.

For those who have no idea what happened, here's what happened past few wed...

I fainted somewhere near HELP. was sent to hospital. Doc said overload work, and now i'm diagnosed with low-blood-presure and some heart conditions. Haiz...

When I woke up from the unconscious status, mom was sitting besides me, crying. Saying something weird.

"我只有你一个女儿，我不想连我唯一的孩子都失去..."

Mom was upset. I was feeling guilty.

"Sorry mom, I wont do that anymore...sorry..."

So, at the end, I quit the hotel job. But i guess it didnt changes much? I'm still stick v my old life pattern... Mom still sitting with me at the midnight, while i was making notes and studying. I think she scare I'll faint again...? And now she still forces me to drink brands everyday. and she still call me now and then to check me out.

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Ker yi told me something today, and I'm glad someone saw my changes. Thanks Ker yi!


Still in depression. And I think I've been quiet... numb these days. Just chatted v mei thin, and I realize how awful I've been lately when I review back. I have no feelings towards anything. Why so? because of the exhaustion? because of the people around me? because of the break up? My life is a total mess right now. I really have no idea who am I now. I'm numb till a certain point, I dont remember who talked to me 5 mins ago, where i've been to few hours ago... I think I'm sick...psychologically sick...mentally sick...or whatever they called it...

I'm sick in the inside.


XOXO
numb Phebs