The Shock News

I just thought of visiting you after my Monday's paper.
Read you the news, pray with you and ask God to take away your pain.
I thought of singing you some songs, with my old guitar.
Thought of telling you jokes, to make you realize the world's still not that bad.

But then, JJ called me.

"She's gone, phoebe. 3 hours ago."

You left at the evening. Suddenly, you're gone.

I'm sorry I didnt make the arrangement earlier to visit you. I thought there's still time.

I'm so sorry.

May you rest in peace.

Your sincere,
Phebs.

It's D.O.N.E.

it never occurs to me that our years of friendship could be so fragile.

I'm over you and everyone else. You're immature and so do those who choose your sides without a seconds of thinking. It's okay, I have no friends to talk to now or cry to. Its okay, I mean I still can bear with it.

What's unbearable was days before that day. That day, I was insane, crazy and psycho. Smashing everything in my room, screaming, crying out loud and yelled to my parents saying I wish both of you kill me now. It was a melt down I guess and I just couldn't bear with it. I mean, with my crazy studies, parents who's getting the D papers sign and yell at me all the time since, the bffs who blamed me for basically everything, crazy works and no one in my life that I could go to, I guess I just kinda get insane with the situations. It feels like I need to deal everything in everywhere and God's playing hide and seek with me. I hate church and the whole God crap now, I hate people who're hypocrite in church, I hate being there like an idiot, I hate friends there who treat me like trash and I just wanna leave that damn place.

Ya people, go and put the blame on me that i'm irresponsible, i'm not holy, I'm evil, I'm...whatever! I'm so over everyone there. You guys not even there for me, and who the hell are you to judge me?! I have my bad days and sometimes i might show it, but don't you? Seriously, I'm better off without ALL of you. We can still talk but it'll never be the same. I was always there for everyone of you. I've move one now, and I wont stand at the same spot waiting for you to give me a nod or a smile anymore.

It's done, I'm done.