physical punishment

What's new? I strained my ankle again!

Back to Monday, wasnt getting enough of sleep and felt quiet sick la.
After college, went back home. I was climbing my house's stairs and my stacks of super heavey books fell. When I was trying to pick them up, somehow I felt dizzy and boom boom boom crak!

I fell a few stairs and twisted my ankle la. Yea, I guess thats what happened.

I'm so sick of my life right now. Its always falling, literally and physically. **signnnnn....

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A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

They've been worried and concern about me, I'm touched. I really appreciate it, even small little things you all did for me like opening the door for me, waiting for me in the half way. You guys gave me something that i've never found in college, something even my so called best friends barely did. Thank you, everyone in the gang!

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Went for the Bpsy final debate today with Rachel. Its Jeremy Lim & Rachel Yao VS someone & someone. haha Seriously thought that Jeremy's team would win lo. Anyway,

I oppose that physical punishment should be use on
children!!!

The affirmation team said that punishment is to let the child feel
pain, then they'll learn not to do it again. Their definition of
punishment is to give pain and not
injury.

I strongly disagree. I mean, how do you know you're not causing injuries to these child when you punish them? One's definition of pain might be very different from others. Belts are made of leather and it can cause one to bleed when one is bitten by belt. Kitchen tools are mostly made of stainless/iron and it can cause one's bone to crack when one is bitten by it. But most parents still using these ways when it comes to punishing thei children. Cane is most often use as punishment tool, and it's definitely hurt when you really hit it. The skin swallow for few day, it might even got bruising. what if the hit hurt the veins or the bones? Can you see that? No! You cant! Do you still think that this is plainly hurt and not injuries?

What's the purpose to physical punish a child? To make them understand what they did was wrong? But what could they learn from the pain? They'll just learn not to be caught again, or may not to do it again. But do they understand why? Why is it wrong? People only care about intrinsic learning. What about how the child feel? Your goal is to make sure they learn not to do it again, and you'll do whatever it takes to make that happened. Your 5 years old boy just cant stop crying and you keep slapping him until he stop. "Not knowing that you've already did damages on his psychological aspects. He'll be remembering the scene for the rest of his life. What his cruel parent did to him.

Please dont forget, we are human too, as well as the children too. We're not training a pet here, we're educating a child here. So why not using some other positive and better alternatives?!! 67% of child abuse started from physical punishment! Statistics dont lie and the number might be more due to some cases were not report or brought up to attention.

What's law? Its to protect our rights? But seriously, I personally dont believe that laws can protect my rights and justice! Just look at Malaysia! Police with the "Tak-Nak Rasuah" badge asking for "minum kopi". Tell me, how is that suppose to protect us and our children? Life cant replay, you did something and you may be regret for the rest of your life. There're something that just cant be heal, a broken heart.It should not be hurt to be a child.

XOXO
"disable" Phebs

its Friday's night

Its one of the friday's night, AGAIN, that I go out and drink, AGAIN. ==""

Its just so happen that every friday's night, I have dinners with friends and we ended up drinking.

Just came back from Laundry with angel, jacky and Ming.
As usual, Ordered Melon ball. I wanted to order something different, but every time ended up with melon ball, without failed. =="" Its not like the best but guess i'm just used to it?
Saw Fion and Venice, both in green. ==""

Thinks Ms Dill is Ms Diva! Mikey is "Mr-know-it-all"! Ms Sandy is "BFF"! Ms Ashy is B*tch! well, WHATEVER!

Gotta sleep like an hour a day from tomorrow onwards just to rush those stupid damn reports. Hello HELL!

Someone confronted me that i've changed a lot since the broke up. I dont know, maybe yes maybe not. Again, I'm telling you and everyone else, I'm not in depression or whatever! Suddenly i like drinking not because I'm looking some escape-from-reality or healing-broken-heart methods, its just so happen that I like drinking recently,okay?!

For you, maybe its a bad thing but I dont think what i did was bad. I know what i'm doing and i know my limits. You make me sounds like i'm a whore. So now everyone who drink is a prostitute? Seriously?!! I'm so over all these "OMG, Phoebe drinks!" and "I despites you cause you went clubbing" kind of looks! I know coz I heard you whispered to others! "Thank you" so much for promoting me!

First, I dont ALWAYS club. I've only went twice, just for experiences.

Second, What so wrong with drinking?!!
Couldnt you be open minded for a little bit? Says who, christian cant drink? says who, girls shouldnt drink? I'm just so over YOU!

Dont you ever look at me like that, again!


XOXO
Phebs

Good girl turn mean

Super-successful parents expect nothing less from their offspring. And when it comes to college that means the Ivies. It's more than just getting into college, it's setting a course for the rest of your life. And those who aren't legacies are no exception. When parents have sacrificed for their children, what kid would want to let them down?

XOXO,
"Being a GOOD kid" Phebs

Dreams speaks

For the first time in my life time, i wish my dream will never come true.

I had a dream last night, it was so real that I almost thought it was.

I was talking to him at the roadside. I was happy we talked. We said goodbye and he crossed the road. A car was speeding and he didn't saw it. Then like the old days movie, I pushed him away and BANG!

I woke up in the hospital and it was dark. Thought that I was at hell for a moment.
Its the air-cond sounds that makes me realize I'm still alive.
"Hello anyone here?" I say out loud. No one answer.
Ti. Ti. Ti. Ti...it was the dialysis machine. Am I in the hospital?
Thought they might had swift off the light, so I wanted to wake up and on the light.
I cant move? Why cant I move?!!! I started yelling and screaming.
Doctors and nurses came. They injected me to put me to sleep.

I woke up and someone is holding my hands. I realized it was he's voice.
"Hey, how you feel?". Thank God, finally there' someone i knew.

"OMG, what happened? how come i ended up in hospital? Is my parents here?? and can you please swift off the light? it's dark and i'm not use to it."

"dear, stay calm and listen to me ok?" I nodded with thoughts running through my minds.

"You saved me from a car accident, remember? your parents was murdered the day you came into hospital."... Tears running out of my eyes and i was in deep griefs.

"You had serious injured in the accident, your brain and spinal cord was injured severely. You're blind and may not able to walk for the rest of your life."

That moment, it was the biggest griefs that I ever had. I hit him because he make me lost my parents and my eyes and my legs. I cried with my deepest griefs and sadness.

I woke up from the dream and I was still crying.
The dream was unreal. The people was unreal. The accidents was unreal. The events was unreal but...the feelings was real.

Now I know how lost it is to lose my eyes.
Now I know how suffer it is to lose my pair of legs.
Now I know how pain it is to lose both of my parents.

XOXO
"Psychic" Phebs

Her life

It hurts, no one knows and no one wants to know.
It hurts, no one bother and no one wants to care.
O LORD, why? Why would you let them wound me in these ways?
I'm been keeping it to myself all these years, and? What are the lessons you want me to learn?
This faked clown's life, how long you want me to continue?
What about my life? My own life? When can I get back my own life?

It just doesn't go away. I told myself every single time, that Phoebe give them one more chance. What I get? Father, I don't understand why? Do anyone love me? Do anyone appreciate me, at all? O LORD, am I that pathetic? Am I???

I want my life, a normal life, a normal girl with friends around her. Friends that love her, support her, appreciate her... am I asking too much?

KILL YA PSY105

I'm literally and pysically an alive-walking-zombie this week.

Seriously, you have no idea what i've been through!

I havent been sleeping since sunday night! Trust me! Yea i know right, its impressing! Even now i'm shocked of how I survived by staying the whole night to do the damn lab report, sleep at 6.30am, woke up at 7.00am to drive to HELP and still 'functioning' well in class. its WAOW! I was never given that much during spm, nor in foundation. Really hope it worth though i know i screwed it.

This week was so stress man! Everyone was so PMS and OCD. haha Everyone was kinda like diagnosed with some kind of tension disorder. And suddenly, coffee's everyone's best friend! Still cant believe I drank 4 cups each night! Glad that its over now. I'll allow myself to rest for 2 days. The coming Monday = HELLO HELL! Gotta prepare for psy 105 presentation, psy 113 assignments, psy 111 lab report, psy 113 lab report and back to psy 105 lab report!

Welcome to a psycho's life!

I'm buying a AT200c! Its a PDA instant-dict? Yup...coz i'm learning FRENCH!!! hahaha the functions' cool! it even have camera! There's only 100 units selling in Malaysia, so consider myself the lucky one!

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I lost a sense of ... belonging in the fellowship y'day. Someone was acting weird towards me, someone was hurting me by his nonverbal communication, and someone was giving me a hard time for no reason. It hurts.

I miss ck coz at least he wont hurt me.

I miss catherine coz at least she's there for me whenever I need her.

I've been trying so hard to pretend like i'm happy and faking that damn smile, but why are you all treating me like i'm invisible? I've lost the real phoebe and part of it is because of you guys. My life is miserable because of what you all have done to me. I'm trying so hard to be the best, and the least you all can do is appreciation. Am I asking too much for that?

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Felt heart-warming. Fawn and rachel have been good to me. They care for me. Junn is very "Bun-ny". Yeng is very quiet and soft but she's good. I just like her, dont know why. Adam, Faiz and pheoric's fine too. Not to mention, the girl that always make my day, KER YI! Sometimes, these are the people that light up my day when I'm moody and all.

"In this world,

No one is too perfect that he/she doesnt need God,

No one is too evil that God will forbidden him/her."

XOXO,

"zombieland" Phebs

The fresh meat

The HELP's Bpsy tradition. The freshy get to wear wrobe and have lunch and all that. Its like Harry Potter and Professor Dumbledore. Seriously! with the longg tables and candles on the tables and everyone's wearing wrobe and proffessor dumbledore [Dr. Goh] giving the speech...hahaha i like-ky him!

ker yi agak-agak. Me sms-ing.

cheeseee...

Reming me why is it L again???

at the end, i LIKE this the most! Faiz is so out of place. haha. ALL THE BEST everyone!

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Feeling STRESS since y'day, when i find out we're so going to die!!! psy 105 Lab report to pass up on next fri. 105 group assignments. psy111 lab report. mc 100 report. mc 100 group presentation. psy 113 assignments. I"M IN BIG BIGG BIGGG SHIT MAN! God, please have mercy on me!

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My car was sent to 'hospital' coz it was 'diagnosed' with 'lung cancer'. In the 'ICU' somemore. The 'doctor' said need serious 'operation' and asked us hope for the worse. =="" Anyway, I wont give up on my car, even when mum said wanna to buy a new car. I love my saga! :)

XOXO,

"Freshy" Phebs

deep down inside her heart...

我不想再想别的东西了。这20年来都是为别人活。从今天开始，我要为我自己而活！
我真的很讨厌酱的自己。每天只会像个傻瓜一样地傻笑！
我要做我喜欢做的东西，想做的东西！

给你们的话：

哭了又怎样？后悔又怎样？反正也没人关心！我要的不多，只是关心。。。很多时候要找人谈，大家也不得空，所以也慢慢的把东西收起来。
我很无助！我觉得跟神讲，也感受不到。。。
天天傻笑，好像笨蛋酱。很不喜欢酱的自己！别人就可以摆脸色，我不开心就被人讨厌。
什么叫有事就要讲出来？！讲了，你们还不是在我背后讲我的不好！次次都讲我有问题，次次都是我的错。。。酱为什么别人犯同样的错，就可以不用被骂？！

给你的话：

我什么都要忍气吞声。。。为什么？为什么一定要我让步，要我迁就？
我为什么要酱伟大？！根本没有人了解我，请不要用很懂我的语气讲我，你，一点都不懂我！
我不想再做好人！什么是想不开？！我就是太想得开，才会这样。。。
我的问题就是小问题，其他人的问题就是大的，要立刻解决。。。我只想把我的烦恼讲出来，可是根本没人理，没人听。。。公平吗？我没有要全世界作我的好朋友，我只想你可以珍惜我一点而已。。。

给你的话：

没有人当我存在的。。。而我，就算痛，也要在那边假笑。。。
我没出声，就以为我不痛，就可以一直酱对我吗？
为什么要在我面前，用电话写东西讲我？
为什么要在我背后，自以为很懂的讲我的坏话？

给你的话：

为什么要误会我，冤枉我？
为什么要特地讲那些话来伤害我？
我也有感受的！我没喊痛，你就可以不用经了吗？！有些东西，你可以选择不讲的，可是你选择讲出来伤害我。
别人的错，我来顶罪。你明知不是我，却责备我骂我。你是这么轻易的原谅她，那我呢？你既然可以不断的为她找借口，然后不停的伤害我！

你们为什么没有顾虑我的感受呢？对你们来说，我到底是什么？！！！为什么，我被你么伤害了这么多次，我还要一直对你们笑？因为我爱你们，我珍惜你们。你们一有事，我一定出来帮你们，挺你们。。。但，你们是爱我的吗？是珍惜我的吗？

Fate

"No use if we have fate... we arent meant to be together anyway." ~Phoebe Lee Hilary

Fee Fee is in Post traumatic period right now coz a cat was trying to eat her just now!!!! Phew~ Gotta lock up the windows next time! Dont worry Feefee, mommy's gonna take care and protect you! You're the only one left with me anyway.
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Went for the German Bar and Bistro passed few days, tuesday i think. Was nice! The beed is hmmm~~ I ordered vodka however, just thought of drinking it that moment. Bryan ordered Beck's. I think the lemon one taste better? Next time, you know where to find me if couldnt get in touch with me. :)
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Mid-term's over! Just finish my last paper today, MC100! A BIG THANK YOU to Ker yi and Pheoric! ahaha because of them the quiz was like taking candy from a baby! Phew~ i was sweating and thought i'll be screwed but apparently...hahaha! Was busy studying for biopsychology and reseach methodology. Hope to score A for this!
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Thanks Mel! For the prayer and encouragement just now! I know you've been very care about me and my health, THANKS! Be strong, I know your four kids are challenge! Was quiet touch when Mr koh pray for me, i almost cry. I mean my effort have been seen! People see my difference! See what i'm doing and why!

Sleep like 3/4 hours nowadays, really have no idea how i survive. Pray for me pls?
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CK is leaving on coming monday! Depress! Will be having farewell for him tomorrow! Its in somewhere i always been there for makan and yam cha, quiet chilling la. But the gang seems doesnt like it. I mean, they dont trust me? Last christmas eve, I said no booking is required and no one believe me. Then, they changed the venue wihtout informing me. Foods sucks in Milwakee anyway. Now, since ck is leaving and i always wanted to bring him there so just wanted to belanja him before he leave la. Again, the rest wasnt that supporting. Fine, its okay la, i'm already used to it. My choice, is always the last option to be consider. I mean its fine for me, if that's what makes friends count, that's totally fine. Haiz...felt so sad la, suddenly everyone start leaving!

I'm so gonna miss you miss you miss you miss you miss you, my best friend!


XOXO,
"The Ex-" Phebs