CMD Renovation

As usual, after classes, I went to work.

Tables, computers, boards, boxes...were all over the counseling area. So, my biggest guess is : Renovation! Hurray, finally they're going to do something with that tiny office with so many people stuck inside of it. According to my boss, I'm might to have a place for my own; own place, own table, own chair and own computer to do my stuffs!

So, all my friends passed by and saw me. They all were having this weird look at me.
Some came to me eventually.

June & Wern stopped and chat a while with me.
"Hey Phoebe."
"Hey."
"What are you doing here?"
"Erm, I'm kinda working here."
"You work here? don't you study anymore?"
"Yea, I'm still studying la."
"Omg, so you study and you work, enough time a? can cope meh?"
"Yea, but sometimes might be a bit busy la."
"How much they pay you?"
"Erm, just enough lo, haha."

........................The conversation continues with some other stuffs.

Faiz : "Done?" (done with classes?)
"Yea, done."
---2 hours later, he passed by again----
"Go home phoebe!"
"Yea, but i still got works."

........................The conversation ended cause he was rushing

Ann Joe : "Hey Phebs"
"Hey dad"
"Still working a"
"yea la so cham, you never give me money oso."

......................the conversation were endless...

Jane : "Hey phoebe, what you're doing here?"
"Working..."(bored of answering the same old question again and again)
"Omg, you work for HELP?!!! Since when? How do you get the job?!!"
"Erm, I've been working here for a year ady."
"Waow! you're studying and working in HELP! So cool!"
"huh? ye..a..." (it's not cool AT ALL)

....................the conversation were blah blah blah....

Tinta : "Hey phoebe, what you're doing here?"
"Err, working" (can anyone be more creative than this?!!)
"What? working? you wrok as what?"
"Erm I'm working for the cmd."
"As in...?"
"Oh, it's customer marketing department."
"Omg, how you get this job?! It's the pay high??"
"Okay la." (frustrating with answering questions)


...............the conversation ended when I need to run to the bursary for stuffs.

And there's many many others people came to me and asked about the same things.

At the end of the day, I told my boss, that I hate sitting outside! We can't really work at outside there! and I don't like the idea that "phoebe is working for help", don't like letting people know that I'm working there. And I Obviously don't like sitting there and answering everyone the same questions! Thanks God the renovation will be done on Monday!

---------------------------

The NEW Giant at the NEW shopping mall (Brem Mall) which near my house was open TODAY!

As usual, whenever a new shop open, there'll always have promotion/discounts/buy one free one/50% off...stuff going on. These times Giant even came out with this brilliant idea to attract consumers which is the "10 cents shopping". With 10 cents you could buy detergent, chocolate, drinks, canned foods, pocket tissues, drinks...(certain selected products only). Honestly, could any housewives miss this?

So, you can imagine how many thousands of people (seriously) could there be to get the cheapest stuffs while stock last.

I didn't know it open today, was actually eating in Wong Kok (inside Brem Mall) with my Dydy and John, and eventually fins out that. Didn't bought much, because of the "jamming" and the "lack of air" that Dydy claimed. hahaha, it was so funny when he make that face.

Damn tired, sleep 1st, tomolo only upload photos la. nite everyone.

No Boundaries by Kris and Adam

So, Kris Won. I was a bit shocked, I beg he, himself too. Though I wanted him to win, but just lets admit it. Adam is way better. I don't for the 2 songs, but for the third, I saw it and I heard it. Adam gave it all, he gave 200% to sang that, but as I watch Kris, He's just a bit holding back. And there's some parts that Kris even running out of voice. Still, both did very well and work ver hard. *Claps* My friend said Adam always being drama one. When I surf about him, omg he's gay?!! And I'm the last person in the world to know this! For your info, I didn't really watch it since the beginning. I started 2 weeks ago so don't blame me.

Okay, I've no idea what's wrong with my blog or computer. I can't upload the videos of the Adam and Kris...
Never mind, maybe it'll works tomorrow, i guess.

I just LOVE Kara! She's amazing! And I really love this song that she wrote! No boundaries.
This is the lyrics I got, but I think something missing as I goes along with the song. Second stanza if not mistaken. Saw some websites, people were judging about Kara, saying something really bad. For them, it sucks. For me, this song is nice. What I can say is, different people have different taste for music. If you don't like it, just let it go. Why judge people and have bad comment on people when things are not true? If you think Kara's sucks, this song is sucks, how about you? If you're that good, why don't you write a 'better' song and let Adam and Kris sing (If they are willing to)?

Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever
If you feel you’ve lost your way
What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away

Coz hear I am — still holding on!

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe

You’ll make it through the pain (or through all your aches and pains)
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

Stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don’t know where’s the future’s heading
Nothings gonna bring me down
I jumped every bridge
I risked being safe but i always arise
I always arise

So here i am still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe

You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams

With Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
Yeah There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

Poem of mine

A Poem of what I go through that day, that faithful day.

Alone I lay on cooled stones
Alone I stay in the dark
Alone I pray to survive
Alone, no one care

Alone I look out to the people
Alone I yell shout and cried
Alone I seek out for help
Alone no one bother

Alone I saw something coming out
Alone I reached to my bag
Alone I sit in the cold
Alone, I was waiting.

Alone, yes, alone I stare at the buildings
Alone, yes, alone I saw people watching
Alone, yes, alone I wait for people to rescue
Alone, I was helpless.

Alone, yes, alone I pray to be safe
Alone, yes, alone I call out for help
Alone, yes, alone I was rescued
Alone, I was alone.

The accident reminds me of what happened to Kitty Genovese. The murder happened on March 13, 1964 in the streets of New York City. It was 3.15am, Genovese reached the parking away 100feets from her apartment. She was approached by Winston Moseley, a business machine operator. Moseley ran after her and quickly overtook her, stabbing her twice in the back. Genovese screamed, "Oh my God, he stabbed me! Help me!" When one of the neighbors shouted at the attacker, "Let that girl alone!", Moseley ran away and Genovese slowly made her way toward her own apartment around the end of the building.

It wasn't the end for her, so do he. Ten minutes later, Moseley came back with different appearances and attack her again. Stabbing her again and again and again. Rape her after she was dead. Took her money, and ran away.

When Moseley was caught, he said that because no one seems to bother after the first attack happened, and that's why he go back and stabbed her more. He knew no one would do anything. I cried for her, when I was reading the case. I seriously cried, and prayed for her. She could have been saved after the 1st attack. Over 40++ of her neighbors had heard her screams for help over 30 minutes and no one approach to her. The neighbors just turned off their lights and went back to sleep after the 1st attack.

How could you?! How could you all do this to her?!!! I could understand that you're afraid of getting hurt, but calling for a police, would that hurt you anyway?!!! No one had come to her aid, nor even calling police. Are people simply just too selfish and self-absorbed to help another human being in dire trouble? After what happened to her, some psychologist researchers did something on it. And then, they came out with The Bystander Effect and Genovese Syndrome. The term Genovese Sydrome was coined to describe this do-nothing-to-help attitude and behavior. The bystander effect is a social psychological phenomenon in which, there's a very low possibility people will offer to help in a emergency situation.

I'm sorry for you, Kitty. I could feel what she had gone through that night, just like what I've gone through that day, that faithful day the accident took place. I yelled, I shouted, I cried...for help. People know, People saw, People watch...but they don't care, they don't bother. The only difference between the Genovese's case with my accident was, I'm still alive; She's dead.

Mom, I love you

Just a look from the title, I beg you guys will have already know what the post was about.
Happy Mummy Day!
So, I brought mom to a place called Nelson Tan to celebrate mother's day.
Foods there were nice. I like it.


Some drawings in the mirror i found interesting...


The starter : some what shell....?



Fried Chiken Chop with special sweet and sour sauce.

Mom : Hmmm...quiet nice.


Since My leg was injured, lots of stuffs I couldn't eat, especially foods contain soya sauce and seafoods. So, I just ordered a smoked turkey ham pasta with milky creamy sauce. Not bad.


Their Special Home-made Pizza : Pizza with veges, types of German sausages, some special sauce too. Nice *Thumbs up*


The bill....

While we were stuck in the serious jam just now, we had some talks.
I told her something I wrote in my previously post, about how 'grey' I felt to my friends.
What she said really make my day. I'm happy that my mom support me so much.

"Gal, don't ever compare yourself with those people. Why follow them if they treat you like these? Why still friend with them if they only talk to you when they need your help? Why are they looking down you? How rich are they? Just tell me, I can gave you anything you want! They drive benz, mec', sportcars..so what? They are the same with what you're driving, four-wheel, can travel, can fetch people, can hide from rain. It's not like theirs can fly. Some others still taking bus, you should be thankful you got a car"

"yea i am...Its just that, now, I'm alone, i dun wanna mix around with people anymore. Friends will just hurt me. I don't want friends, but I want..."

"Never mind, just left them. Mix with others but not African. Or Else, just study alone at some quite place when you're free, you don't need friends. Going college is for study, getting good result, you don't need lots of entertainment, and you don't need friends..."

"... ... ... ..."

A best friend of mine called me just now, I was thinking "Finally, you call. I'm glad that you call even though its been days, but at least you call..." Once again, my heart broken. Of all the things she said, nothing is caring about me, concerning me. I was crying while talking to her, she didn't realize. Mom was still sitting beside me. All these years, what was our friendship about? A call for asking "Are you still ok?" is that hard than "Why didn't you arrange someone to take over your job?". I was really broken. I didn't ask for much, just caring is enough.

Sometimes, I really felt so hopelessness on them. Of all the messages I sent out, and it's been 5 days since the accident, no one, no one call me at all, nor a sms. Even those, I expect they will, they let me down. So, it still the same, as usual? That I'm always alone, I'll always be alone, I was meant to be alone. Studying alone, eating alone, walking alone, watching TV alone, talking alone,... That's what I meant to be, alone. I was trying so hard to make friends all this while. I guess, I'll just have to go back to who I was, alone. Being alone and suffering form depressed again. I'm used to it. So, nothing really change.

Thank you Melinda, again.
Thank you Mei Thin. Seriously, you're the 1st and last to sms me and comfort me. I was really really touch. What my best friends never did, you did. Moreover, I didn't tell you anything, but you come to me.

Real and Faked

"Things are not always what they seem;
the first appearance deceives many;
the intelligence of a few perceives what
has been carefully hidden."
~ Phaedrus

Past Tuesday afternoon, it was 2 when I finish my stats and psychology reading in lab, I wanted to eat something. I went out of the lab, saw Fion passed by, talking with phone. A simple waving hand greeting was that's all.

I walk through the shortcut stairs which I always does, I always have a scissors with me. I realize 2 African men was following and start talking to me with their language. I wasn't really paying attention. As what normal people would do, I move quickly and when i reach the road with motorcycle all over the road side. I was thinking, walk through the motors would be definitely faster than I walk all the way over the motors. (I know you'll wont understand) So, the point is when I walk through the motor, the motor engine kinda burn my leg. I forgot. I forgot that my mum warned me many times about that. Sorry mom. It ended up my left leg was burned. I've no idea how long I've sat there. It was pain, very very PAIN. I cried with all I had. It was bleeding, the wound was very very big. People passed by and watch. No one actually come to me and help me. It was helpless. Eventually, mom came and sent me to hospital. I've been crying for almost 2 hours, still, crying. Doctor said it was a bit serious, the skin was totally burned, and there'll be scars left over. Now, it still pain, but wasn't that much anymore.

I wanna thank Melinda. Of hundreds of people I know, she's the ONLY ONE concern about me, called me, called my mum. Thank you, Kai Jian, a phrase from message really can comfort me.

In this accident, I found something. I learned something.

I found something very very funny. It's been a year here in HELP, I've meet so many people, earn so many friends, but I found that I don't have friends at all. A friend that concern about me, and at least believe me.

After my leg was wrapped, while waiting for the medicine, I sms some people.
Told friends in church about my condition, asked them to pray for me.
Then I sms Sally, told her to take attendance for me.
An hour later, Fion use her phone sms me and said "No way! You go hell better la!"
What can I say? What will you say if you're me?

Seriously, I was hurt. I felt hurt. Though we're not close friends, but what will you feel if someone asked you to go hell? And what will you felt if your friend don't believe you of what you said? Yea, they believe me, they believe that I'm just giving excuse to skip classes.

On Monday, Fion said something which make me felt ...
"Phoebe, you said you were sick during 1st sem right, why you havent die yet one?"
Yea, I know I'm not as important as anyone else. But, I wanted to live. I'm doing my best to live my life. I was sick, I am sick, I don't know when I'll die. Who knows? Do you?

Days passed, and yet, no one, NO ONE at all asked about me. Include all those I've sms them and let them know. Other than Melinda and Evon, no one...It was very disappointed. Am I that pathetic? Am I that unimportant? For you, my life is just a waste to live?

Mom asked after the accident.
"Why are you alone? Where's your friend?"
"Erm, I'm always alone."
"Even lunch? your friends leh? You don't have lunch with them one meh?"
"No, it's just me."
"Why? you don't have friends one meh?"
"No la, they're just...they have different timetable that I have"
"Then, meet at one place and do lunch la?"
"I tried. But, eventually, people just forget about my existence and left me behind...I just HATE kept on following people, it makes me look like a dog, look stupid."
"... ... ..."

Bebe once said "Most of the people in help, is just faked friends. They don't want to make friend with you, but they have to. For benefits, for face, for not-want-to-be-alone, and just for the sick of making friends."

I don't truly agreed. I still have faith in some of my friends. God, please let me know. Let me know that, there's at least one, AT LEAST ONE friend from HELP, is real.

Family Day

Time : 8.00am-1.30pm
Date : 9th May
Venue : KGC

So, its my church's yearly family day. Obviously, it was very very different this year. We normally held it outside like zoo, bird park, FIRM... So, they think it would be nice if just stay at our own place and do whatever we want.

This year we have Victor Lee, from our side here to in charge of the whole things. Its went very well, good job bro!


Tags for everyone! I like the picture and the idea of it. After using it as tag, we can still keep it and make it as bookmark! cool! great idea by Victor!

A big children pool with 150 of fishes for the game.



Breakfast : Yao Zha Kuai, Dumplings, Milo and Chinese tea. :)


Let's start it with praising! Let's sing together!


Theme of this year : "I love my Church, We love Each other!"



Red team leader, I proudly presents you our Mr Kelvyn, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!



The person who make this works! *Clapssss* Victor Lee!

Let the Game Start!
1. Team Challenge

Mixing the red and green beans together. the team were require to pick up the red bean. Then 2 person use the chopsticks to pick up the bean and bring it over the other side. Of course we win! Thats my talent - using korean chopsticks? I beg no others there can beat me! hahaha...it was so easy man!


The blue team, my team :) . Team Leader, Joshua.


The red team.


The children playing at the fountain. *They're the one who killed all the 150 fishes, technically*

4. Choo-Choo Ball.

Basically, just blow the ball. No hands, no body touching the table.if the ball drops on your side, you lose. Interesting and BREATHLESS!



Kah Peng : I'm on! I'm on!



Thomas, blow with all he has.

Kah Peng : Wait! I have a better strategy.

After 5 minutes of break for us to breathe again, we move on with the 5th game, "How warm is Your Love?"



I guess you might not see what's happening. Well, each team is given a huge ice with a coin inside. So what we do is just use our temperature and melt the ice. Which team finish that will win.


Jermaine! She can walk now and she SMILE a lot!


Chloe : easy to take care. don't cry easily like others babies. Also, Smiles a lot. loves looking at people.


ME! with my lovely tag!



Us, Resting.



Evon posing with her tag.



That will be our medals. yea, medals. creative rite? haha



Trophy for the winning team - Our Team!!!!




YEAH~!!!! Blue RockSSSSSSSSSS!!!


Our prize : An apple a day, keep the doctor away.
The red team got bananas as their prize. :)


Lunch Time! OMG, everyone were so tired and starving! Can't wait to sit down for our lunch, apples and bananas!

The Afterwards :
Sure, It was a HOT day but was FUN. We went to have some ICY.

Sai Mai Lok~!!!

hmmm~~looks good...but we shall see.

Ok, it wasn't that bad la just 9.50$ for this thing?! No way I'll order this again. BTW, the kiwi was weird.