STOP bugging ME!!!

You have no idea at ALL.
Don't just simply scold me and put a crime that I never did on me!
You thought you're the only one who's miserable here?
You thought you're the only one working like hell now?

I was asking the money for the camp's fee. RM 220.

"You never know how hard is it to earn money. Every time only know how to ask money from me. I'm really so mad at you! Seriously, very mad at you!"

As every word passed in my ear, I'm pissed.

You thought I have no idea how hard for you to earn every single cent?!
You thought I'm just such a princess who always only know how to ask for money?!!
You just have no ideal how hard I try to settle things myself...You have no sense on what I've did for the sake that helping you lighten your burden.

For every sem, I bought myself all the textbook!
For everyday, I pay the parking fees myself!
For every time shopping, I bought some of the dinner or at least some dishes!
For all the extra fees that required, I pay by myself!
For every time people asking me out, I think twice, three even ten times whether to go out or not, scared that it would waste money.
BTW, you claims that all those i used are from you. Of course, it's not! All the money I used to buy stuffs are money that I earned from working!

You said I never think for you?

Who's the one that help you cook the dinner?
Who's the one that help you with some of the works you bought back from office?
Who's the one that massage you when you feel tired?
Who's the one that study so hard just to hope to get a better job to satisfied you?!
Who's the hell that never sleep just to take care you when you got accident?

You never see a single thing that I did for you, mom.
You never satisfied of who i am.
You'll never approved me.
You'll never be proud of me.

As the only child you have, I've did my best.
Since I study in college, I never took a rest.
People are enjoying their sem break, holidays and stuffs; while I gotta woke up in the freaking morning and work! After classes, people are talking about where to eat, where to shop, which movie to watch; I couldn't even join them cause I gotta catch up with work!!! I never rest and now you're acting as if I'm fooling around with my work?!!

"How much did you actually earn in a day? How many hours you actually did in a day?" you asked in a very suspicious tone.

" about 5 hours..."

"Got that much meh? Always see you come back so early one?!"

" Got la!" said I, with an impatience and pissed tone.

Mom, could you just...JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME!!!
I'm tired, I'm frustrated, exhausted!
And you're never there when I need you, never.
When's the last time you praise me? encourage me?
Perhaps, you never did.
No matter how good I did in my grades, you're just always scold me "why didnt you get a higher grades?"
Being your daughter, its really killing me, mom. So, Can I just please you?! Please just let me go! Please just like me be me! You've already taken my childhood, are you going to take away my life too?!!!

You never seems to trust me. For God sake, I'm your daughter! I'm your freaking only daughter! And stop comparing me with cousin! I'm nothing like her!!! Full A's so what?! Why dont you just dump me, and make her your daughter then?!!!

How could someone as far as my lecturer could see me suffering but someone as close as you do, doesn't?!!
Mom, can you just stop complaining and start loving me?
Can you just start praising with simple words like "well done" or "you can make it!" ???

I couldn't take this any longer, you know mom...
Someday, I might just gone because of you...which is something that had ran through my minds over hundreds of times...

XOXO
an exhausted daughter

We . ROCKS!

It was Thur morning, the only morning that I don't mind dragging myself up at 9.30am after what I did at the night before that. Been obsess with reading lately. In fact, I read a lot, like... a lot's lot. Its like taking drugs. Mom have to actually stop me in the middle of the night, normally 3am or 4am, depend what time she wake up for her drinks, from reading any further. I mean, now only I found that, reading is very interesting as if I'm in the book, going through what those in books going through. ANYWAY, coming back to the main point, sms pei fang in the morning before i go college.

After fetched her, we went to the Curve...
To....
SING K~~!!!







My drinks : Coke + Orange Juice


PF's drinks : Iced lemon tea + Coke


The free foods.




Singing in emo.




She like this song A LOT!
Haha We sang like HELL, as if its was the last thing we left to do before we die.
For 3 hours, we sang NON-STOP. It was FUN!!!

Then we went IKEA, craving for foods.



The Swedish Meatballs and fries. DAMN GOOD!!! *thumbS up*


The dessert : the Diam. OMG, its A- MUST to eat.


Choc muffins. We ate half only...hahah you know why...


The chicken wingS. Nice.


PF : no time for posing. I'm dead of hunger ady.

Afterwards, we went a little shopping in IKEA...







the frog waiting for her prince under the GREEN leaf.


The grandma sitting on a granny chair.


The grandma feels like going back to child again.


I so WANT this desperately for my bed.


PF : OH! I found my IDEA bed! Lets buy this!

Went MPH, cant find twilight but found Gossip Girl series.
OMG, I'm so going to buy all the collection after I got my pay.


Shopped at Vincci. Bought this ROSE ring.


I gotta say...Its a real fine work.




PF bought herself her 1st ring in the life!!!
Congrats! Its really suit her more than me, as I told her.
"This kind of ring suit people like you." I added on.
Simple and plain but just nice and grateful.
Ended up, someone named me the lady of the Ring after figuring out that I'm a ring collector.



XOXO
Lord of the Ring, Phebs

I wanna be with mummy

Just finished watching Artificial Intelligence.
It was an old movie. I watched it once but just half of it.
It was really touching and the ending was kinda sad.
In the future, i hope my kids will have the love that David have for his mom.



What did you just said?
Mommy.



This is teddy. Teddy meet David.



Blue Fairy, I want my mum to be alive, and I want to hear her say I Love You hundreds and million times.



He still stick to his wish, after 2000 years. "I want to be real so that mommy will bring me home. Please make me real, blue Fairy. Make me real. Please, make me real...."

The movie inspires me a lot. No regrets left for wasting 2 1/2 hours watching it.

Going out with Pei Fang tomorrow. I can sense F.U.N. which is something that I've long lost. When was the last time I go out for a movie with no assignments/exam/quiz/stats/maths/...in my head? When was the last time I make myself go wild? When was the last time I'm actually relax and enjoy? When was the last time I....

Phoebe, switch off your phone, drive like you own the road, talk like a child, eat like you've been starve for years, walk like a diva (not exactly)! Basically, relax, forget everything that bothering you, and just be YOU! A YOU that's enjoy her life, make her day shine!!!

XOXO
"YOU" Phebs.

My kind of interest

So, I finished my last paper y'day and today basically is my first day I don't have to drag myself up when the sun not even up yet and speed to college.

I woke up at noon had cereals and milk. Skipped work cause I think I deserve a day of silence and just relax. Unlike those days, I'll work right after the finals. Sem breaks means nothing to me coz I gotta work.

Anyway, been RE-watching random episodes of Criminal Minds season 4. Did some researches on Dr. Micheal Swango, one of the angel of death. **PS for those who just knew me or dont know me, I like to do researches and analyze series killers.; I'm obsess with Criminal Minds and have collection of it from season 1 till 4; I re-watch the episodes without feeling any boredom; I study books and novel about these stuffs.; I tend watch these kinds of movies or drama and I can go days and days spending time in front of computer just to study their profiles. Some might called me crazy, but

this is what I do, this is what I like to do, what I actually want to do.

I wanna know what makes these normal people like you and me become a monster.

I wanna know...
How can Ted Bundy be so cruel and have no regret on what he did?
What make Jack the Ripper so hate prostitutes?
Was it the unperfect family that David Berkowitz urge so much that yet he have no love that makes him kill?
What was Ed Gein thinking about when he steal the bodies form grave and take off their skins and organs?

and the list go on...

It's not only serial killers that I'm into...
Few years back, I started to add on my curious journey with : Child abuse cases.
My feelings on it was stronger since I knew the case of Slyvia Likens.
Since then, I'm angry towards who ever abuse the child and I'm felt sorry to all those kids out there. I pray for every single kid that's in my file. I pray and hope that they're in a better place now. I cried...every time I look through their files. They never did anything bad, they're just kids,

they had a wonderful happy memory as a child until you came into their life...

You started scold them, locked them in the dark closet or bathroom, started tied them up, bitten them, and do whatever you feel good on them! What kind of monster are you on earth?!!! For God's sake, they're just KIDS!!!

I knew once I stepped into these case, I'll be seeing more and more terrible case than those I've met. I'll find out that the world nowadays is getting darker and cruel. And there I go, sitting in front of the computer and studying the profiles of these people everyday.

I found similarity of these psycho in me. But, I know, I'm nothing simlar like them. I don't kill people when people tease on me or make fun of me. I don't kills happy families just because I don't have one. I don't kill richies because I don't like the way they act. I don't kill and rape girl just because they look similar to my ex who dump me for another hottie.

No, I'm nothing similar to these people...nothing.

XOXO
'Psycho' Phebs

It all came to an end

Finally, I finished to Stats and Psy papers today, successfully!

3 months of hardship.
3 months of headache.
3 months of breathless.
3 months of restless.
3 months of of the 3 months...

It finally pays. It finally end.

I'm glad that I make it. And it's in a good way.

Thanks to :
God, who answer my prayer and be with me all the time when i needed Him.
Dydy, the man that changed my amazing 3 months, who also, tutor me with all his heart! muacks!
Jee Jian, who taught me and helped me once or twice. lol
Ms himalaa, Stats lecturer, and help me out when I'm lost with patience.
Ms Selina, Psy lecturer, who concern about me and give me guidance.
and last but not least, random buddies that give me supports!

XOXO
Joyful Phebs

My New life with New Car : BMW

It happened few weeks ago, when I came back from college. A BMW was seated nicely at the garage. Obviously Mom bring back this new car without informing me! Well, never mind at least I get to drive it! Drove to college few times, feels good! But overall, dun really like to drive BMW. Its Auto, so everything is kinda like do it for you. Everything inside are automatic one. I don't get use to it. Don't like to lost the sense of controlling. Compare to my modified-manual saga, I get to control everything.



The BMW tyres were replace by the Yokohama.
Dad claims that its better.


My modified-drifted-saga.

The Key to my New life! lol

First time I drove. N.E.R.V.O.U.S. Mind you again,its BMW. I don't wanna have any scratch on it.

I like the meter. However, dad said he'll change another one for me. Another one which is to be more extreme and nicer.


The seat can make you fall to sleep EASILY! so comfort man!


I like the 'reflective' mirror.


The number plat that Mom bought, around RM 1 thousand. Said to be fortune, according to her.


SHHHhhh! Don't make any noise! I'm starting to reverse the car and test-drove it.




So, Fiona and Ewen, lets race! lol

Next, I present to you, Nissan GTR Skyline!
I think thats the car Bryan in The Fast & Furious drove.
Its my Cousin new toy.
*PS : He kinda change his sport car every year, And mom really like his car. So, we made a deal. When he get to change his car which probably will be next year, he's sell this hot baby to us!


He bought his number plat too.


Believe it or not. One tyre cost you RM 1 thousand ++.
Imagine there's four of them.




Its damn nice la this sexy!


S.K.Y.L.I.N.E.

Remembered Adam who own a lancer wanted this so much. Well, Adam, you're lucky coz I might exchange my skyline with your lancer for a week when I own it next year! Meanwhile, be patience.

I'm so getting insane of doing stats. I've done stats exercises for 15 hours within 2 days. See you can beat me that. haha...

XOXO
The BMW owner, Phebs!