I just want everyone to have a good Christmas. What wrongs had I did to get myself into this mess?

It was numb, till I pulled the trigger. I smell something. I sense something moving downwards from the head. I feel the world's spinning and I allow myself spin by the world.

One said : Its hard to make everyone happy; You cant make everyone like you.

Guess this saying is quiet true.

I dont understand, what's so hard about it?
I dont understand, why you don't get it?
I dont understand, how can you make it look like I cause all these dramatic events.
I dont understand, I just want to make everyone happy. Christmas is a season of sharing, isn't it? How it ended up like that?

I dont understand.

All the arrows are pointed at me, all the blame. Was I wrong? Cause it looks like I did something I shouldn't be.

I'm lost.