Addiction

I have this urge... this urger to drink when i'm upset.

Nobody have really realize anything, yet.
Mom's busy, as usual. Dad's ignoring, as usual.
Bffs are too native and thinks i'm still the kid they first met in primary school.
Others ... guess it never came up to them.

I'm depress all the time and cant seem to find anyone to talk to.
Everyone is busy with boyfriends, schools, works...

It started since the broke up. I'm not blaming him, but it just seems that nothing could stop the pain until I found this. This one thing that could make me forget about things, that could make me relief, that could make me sleep without wetting my pillow. Even though it'll only last for a while, but better than I did nothing and just sitting there alone and feels ... numb.

People don't understand, they just don't. I used to tell them my problems, but not anymore. Because they don't listen, they think its just a small matter. Since then, I stop telling, sharing.
I used to believe therapist could help, with the depression and all. So I went to see one. It gone better at first but it went worse after a while.

Now, I just couldn't seems to stop. It's the only way out.